Allowances. How many kids get them? How much? What for?
Once we decided to start, Cheryl and I have enjoyed an endless debate about how much allowance to give our seven-year-old. I know, all the rest of you had this same discussion when you were first dating, as well as sensible debates on whether to buy them a car, on how much TV is allowed, etc. We, on the other hand, never even thought we’d have kids. Anyway, the crux of it, as usual, stemmed from how each of us was raised (…and I seemed to have turned out just fine, thank you very much!)
A number of policies have been tried. First we decided to give a set, weekly amount and required that Ellen do a minimum number of chores as “part of the family.” That didn’t work. Then we tried giving her a set amount to invest in high-tech, start-up ventures. That didn’t work. Then we tried an ala carte system where she had a menu of chores, so she could earn as much or as little as she wants depending on how industrious she felt. Didn't work. So I asked around.
I talked to a couple of dozen fellow parents. I didn’t say that I did the definitive study of allowance policies of all families in turn-of-the-century
Three different styles of allowance-giving
As in our family, some parents pay an allowance for services rendered; things like making the bed, emptying the dishwasher, spaying the cat, etc. Others have a kind of entitlement policy in place where the child gets an allowance just for being part of the family (but they’d still better do their chores, or else). Some kids are paid a lump sum based on the aggregate of all chores and demeanor during the week, like a salary. And a few don’t give allowances at all, either not having thought of it, or with a militant attitude that money is the symbol of a corrupt capitalist system.
Why?
When asked my group of experts what the purpose of the allowance was, nearly all answered it was to make their child understand the value of money. Of course, The International Monetary Fund itself doesn’t understand the value of money, but, by God, we’ve got to cling to the hope that somewhere, some child may actually hit upon it. I like to think of us all participating in the National Monetary Comprehension Project.
How much?
One formula that is very popular is the child’s age times a dollar (per week). This seems to me about as rational as that old formula from the ‘eighties, that your salary should be your age times a thousand. Other parents just set an arbitrary amount based, apparently, on the Depression Era dollar (when, by jingo, you could see a Tom Mix pitchur-show, buy a Baby Ruth bar and a bottle of sa’sparilla, and still have change left over from your quarter). I was puzzled by this formula and how it fit in with an understanding of the value of money. But that doesn’t mean it was wrong.
Few, however, seem to be aware of Minimum Wage statutes mandating at least $7.95 per hour in our state. In our family we have estimated the maximum amount of time it should take to make one’s bed (2 minutes 11 seconds) and prorated that in compliance with the minimum wage (29 cents). If there is any danger to the job (roof work, for instance) or heavy equipment involved, we pay more. We don’t pay for diversions while the bed is being made, like lining up the Beanie Babies, finding Waldo, etc. since these activities, while estimable, do not enhance the domestic efficiency of the family unit. And since Cheryl or I don’t want to rule out a Supreme Court nomination at some future date, we of course pay all state and federal employment taxes and mandated benefits, as well as ascertain the citizenship of our child.
What is to be done with all this new-found wealth?
Quite a few parents work closely with their children on payday: Some to save, some to charity, some for college (yeah, right, like fifty cents a week's going to fill that bucket), and some to spend . There is a lot of goal-setting. I think the kids of these families have the best chance of learning to use resources wisely and of becoming responsible members of the community. But that's no fun.
However, a minority of those I surveyed (including us) just let their kids spend their allowance on any junk they wanted. I even encourage my daughter to spend all of it immediately, just like we do. As a result she has learned the true meaning of the term “rip off.” This summer, while at Knott’s Berry Farm, I irresponsibly let her take all four dollars she had in her pink, vinyl, Hello Kitty Wallet (almost a week’s salary) and play one of those games where you get to throw two beanbags at a pyramid of bottles in the hopes of “winning” a big green Yoshi. She tossed her beanbags and missed, then turned back to me with a look of loss and indignation on her face and exclaimed, “That was a rip-off!” Exactly. Tuition well spent.
The Dark Uses of the Allowance Principle
Two mothers I talked to use allowance in a frighteningly diabolical and coercive way. And I love it. They have instituted the idea of a “negative allowance” to manipulate desired behavior. It’s a domestic version of the political principle that Lazare Carnot invented during the French Revolution, “Let war pay for itself.”
For example, two brothers can decide to have a fight in the car on the way to school, but they have to pay for it—literally. A fight costs fifty cents, payable immediately. It’s all turned into a nice little business deal. I think this is revolutionary. And patriotic to boot. It emphasizes freedom, but at a price. Both moms claim that the change in behavior in their children has been dramatic. Or at least their kids haven’t figured out yet that sometimes fighting is worth fifty cents.
The
What is the right way to handle the allowance issue? Well, I’m no professional--at least in terms of child-rearing--but it seems to me, out of my extensive study, that the best way is to do what your own parents did with you. And you turned out just fine, didn't you? Either that or do the exact opposite. So they won’t turn out like you!
No comments:
Post a Comment